I have a habit of obsession, but not just any kind; it is the most beautiful one of all: following my curiosity without hesitation.
I find this obsession to be similar to love. There’s no rhyme or reason to it; it just happens. Therefore, you can say that following my curiosity is one of my loves. I am reminded of the lines Pablo Neruda wrote, and they capture this feeling perfectly:
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams.
I follow my curiosity without knowing how, or when, or from where. I simply do.
Just as love can’t be explained, nor can following my curiosity. I see love and following my curiosity as the same force of nature. Both are intrinsic and can’t be explained, but once you feel the magic, you can’t unfeel it again.
Love isn’t a journey, but rather a jointly created painting. You can ask me why I love to follow my curiosity, and I won’t know what to tell you. You can ask me how I knew I needed to follow my curiosity, and my answer will make little sense to you. You can ask me all sorts of questions, and I won’t know. But when I follow my curiosity, it’s an artful odyssey that unfolds, stroke by stroke, to make connections no one has done before and paint a unique painting, and therefore, unique life.
Everyone is obsessed with rational reasons, but that kills the magic of love; that kills the magic of following one’s curiosity. Why love? Why follow your curiosity? If I were telling this to a lover, I would say something about her eyes, her personality, or the way she makes me feel. I could come up with a Million Reasons if Lady Gaga asked me (and baby, "one good one to stay" won't be enough).
But the truth is many people have those qualities, even the most seemingly unique. True love can't be explained because it's like magic. The magic of love is not knowing exactly what is behind it. The magic of love is knowing to follow it without hesitation. Such is the nature of following one’s curiosity.
I don't want to ever have to dissect why I love someone or why I follow my curiosity. If I do, I will come up with these rational reasons which will make me view my loves as commodities and undermine my love for them.
Why love? Why follow my curiosity? I just do. I don't understand, and I don't want to understand because I want my heart to be fully taken by the magic of love, by the magic of following my curiosity.
True love isn't rational and cannot be explained. It's a feeling that goes beyond understanding and reason. People may want to try to dissect love into logical parts, but true love can never be dissected because true love is intrinsic, magical, unexplainable yet present, and in my case, beautifully curious.
This is an excerpt from The Cheesy Energy of Lithium.
If you’re into interesting ideas (like the one you just read), join my Weekly Memos, and I’ll send you new essays right when they come out.