Juan David Campolargo

Don’t Find Mentors. Find Your Future Self.

Back in 2018, I was fifteen years old, and I wanted to do something over the summer. I could get a job, work on my businesses, sit around, watch Netflix, or work for free at tech startups. 

I chose the latter.

Why would I work for free in a startup? It wasn’t for free; I had to pay for the train tickets and food. I didn’t care. I knew that being out there meeting founders and investors would be the best way to learn. 

I wanted to be involved in the startup world by creating, developing, and investing in them. I believe that’s the way we can change the world and have a positive impact. 

But how in the world would I find those startups?

I sent 500+ emails, called companies, asked family and friends, and did everything I could, but I got annoyed. So I was like, “Screw it, I’m just going to go and ask them.”

I went to this startup incubator called Techstars at 1871 and asked if they were hiring. And that I was willing to work for free or “volunteer.”

At first, the founders looked at me like, “Kid, how old even are you?” Most founders looked the other way, but two guys were like, “Damn, let’s find something for this kid to do.”

And that’s how one of my best summers started.

The founders may have thought a fifteen-year-old wouldn’t be able to do much, but I literally told them, “I’m willing to do anything, I just want to learn and spend as much time as possible at the incubator.” It felt like I was learning by osmosis.  

I would go with the founders to meetings with investors and mentors and take notes, find venture capitalists interested in investing, work on hardware, and do anything they told me to do. 

I worked with three startups that developed an AI fitness assistant, solar drones, and a real estate crowdfunding site. 

That summer showed me the world of startups. I met people like the governor, billionaires, and overall people who were heavily involved in the startup world. 

I also experienced the startup world, which I’m sure will pay off in the future. 

But most importantly, I met Paul, the founder who gave me the opportunity. 

I always kept him posted on my progress in my projects and would ask how his company was doing. And Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Happy New Year messages as well. 

Well, it turns out that Paul studied in the same college and did the same major. I’ve talked to him multiple times in the last few weeks and it reminded me of the importance of having people who were once where you are.

Some people call people like Paul “mentors,” but that word is misleading because 1) it’s overused and over-hyped and 2) it’s transactional and self-centered. 

How do I call people like Paul? I call them, “My Future Selves.”

They often can give that little push you need. And you get to cheat because you get to talk to your future self. What’s even better is that you can always do things differently and learn from their mistakes. 

Studying engineering isn’t the easiest thing in the world and when you bomb a test, you can feel like “You don’t have what it takes.” My first chemistry exam? Hmmm. One to forget. I like to do as best as I can and not doing as expected frustrates me, especially when I need to get a good GPA to transfer to the engineering school. 

I felt like I was the only one, but as I talked to “My Future Self” or Paul, I realized I wasn’t the only one and he too didn’t do great on his first chemistry exam. But he improved and could transfer to the engineering school. 

He advised me on how to approach studying and how to approach the test and my grades have improved. 

Sometimes, you can also lose sight of the big picture of what you want. Future selves remind you to keep focused not by scolding you but by asking you simple questions like, “What are your future plans after college?” or “Do you like what you’re studying?”

In my case, Paul knows I’m into startups and eating the world, so he helps me with choosing a path that aligns with my interests and my goals. 

Looking back, that was not a normal thing for a teen to do. Yes, you can say it, “I was weird.” 

Well, not really. I knew who I was and where I wanted to go. That’s how going up to startup founders asking for a job could become your summer. 

How To Find Your Future Self

If I hadn’t talked to Paul a few times since college started, I’d honestly be down and not very excited about the possibilities. Future selves can you show a path that gets you excited to work harder and more ambitiously. 

If you’re interested in finding a possible future self. I’ve learned a few lessons that can be helpful. 

Avoid being artificial. We’ve all heard the talk, “Get a mentor and blah blah blah.” Sure, but that can’t the only reason. You should be genuine. And please please, don’t be asking people to be your mentor. 

How can you be more genuine?

Understand their motivations. Keep this question in mind, “Why would someone want to mentor you?”

It usually happens when a high-potential person approaches them, and they can help him/her reach that potential. And if they can see their advice pays off 10x in you. If your future self tells you to walk 5 steps, they want to see you walk 50 steps.  

Don’t find mentors. This one will be the hardest to understand, but the most powerful. I don’t ask people, “Do you want to be my mentor?”

Most people will say “No.” Instead, the way you find mentors or future selves is by:

1) Finding people who are where you want to be. 

2) Asking great questions and becoming genuinely interested in their work, and finally, 

3) Keeping in contact with them and asking questions and/or advice when you need it. Or if you find something useful for them, this is when you help them.

I’m grateful to Paul and many of my other future selves because they allow me to learn from their mistakes, pick a unique path for me, and give you the little push and fresh perspective when I most need it. 

Thank you, Paul, and thank you to all my future selves!

 

 


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Tags: lifephilosophy